What 'Hot Ones' can teach us about asking better questions
Asking questions is a huge part of our daily lives. It determines the information we learn, the support we can offer, what we understand, and whether we help others feel understood.
Despite the importance of the skill, I don’t remember taking “Question Asking 101” in high school. The closest thing we may have to such a class is Hot Ones.
If you’re not familiar, Hot Ones is a talk show on YouTube (and now, a bunch of other places) hosted by journalist Sean Evans. It’s billed as the show with “hot questions, and even hotter wings,” and features a celebrity being interviewed over hot wings — each with a progressively hotter sauce.
To say the show has been a massive success would be an understatement. It’s spawned 22 seasons, 314 episodes, a cable TV show, a hot sauce line, and hundreds of millions of views.
I’d offer two reasons for its success.
The first is obvious. It’s fun to see celebrities in various stages of pain.
The second reason? As host, Evans puts on a masterclass in question-asking.
His work is so appreciated that there are YouTube compilations called “Guests Impressed by Sean Evans' Questions" that themselves have been viewed over 20 million times.
Here are a few examples of how he goes past the obvious.
He could have asked musician Dave Grohl what Kurt Cobain was like. Here’s what he asked instead:
"In 2015 you famously finished a show in Sweden after falling off the stage two songs in and severely breaking your leg. What’s the second-most-severe injury that you’ve ever suffered while performing?”
He could have asked Salma Hayek surface-level questions about her latest film. Here’s what he asked instead:
"One of the hobbies you pursue in your downtime is diving, which you’ve been pursuing since you were ten years old. Besides that time that you had to be transported to a decompression chamber for 8 hours after an especially deep voyage, have you ever had a harrowing experience with a sea creature?"
He could have asked comedian Pete Holmes about life on the road. Instead, he asked:
"What was your greatest customer pet peeve when you were living in Chicago and waiting at Bennigans between gigs?"
And on and on.
As a result of the oddball thoughtfulness he puts into his work, the conversations flow in unexpected directions, and the guests talk about topics they usually never cover.
As information flows with more reckless abandon, there’s more to learn. And isn’t that the point?
What we can learn
After watching a few of these and jotting down some notes on what makes them so effective, here's what I think we might take away.
- Be interested: Evans is now known throughout the world — not for beating his chest about his own accomplishments, but for his curiosity. He researches. He asks thoughtful questions. He listens. Then, he asks follow-ups based on what the person actually said. It sounds simple, but in the age of "everybody gets a podcast," this is a lost art.
- Violate expectations (positively): The Very Tall person you're talking to has probably had a few conversations about how they're Very Tall. The actor who just played so-and-so has probably been asked what they did to prepare for the role. These questions will be answered on autopilot — and pivotally, they will put us, the questioner, on autopilot too. If we can skip past the first thing that crosses our mind, and ask the second, third, or fourth question that may pop up, everybody will feel better for it.
- Help your guest get their guard down: Evans quite literally has a secret sauce here: people are less likely to be uptight about a question when they're crying from a particularly hot bite of wings. It's even more effective because Evans is joining in on the fun. Especially in meetings, there's a (fully understandable) inclination towards projecting a more formal, slightly less interesting version of ourselves. This is an odd outcome because nobody really desires it. Whatever we can do to break that feeling and create an environment of an actual conversation — you know, two humans talking — the better.
- Be specific: At Clique, we have a "digital watercooler" where we ask questions every week for open discussion. Each one begins with a simple conversation prompt. And guess what? You'll probably learn more by asking somebody about their favorite cartoon character than you can by talking about the weather. Higher-level questions have their place — it'd be awkward to only use expertly-researched, paragraph-long questions in our daily lives — but so do these.
- End with a question and let it linger: Humans are uncomfortable in silence. We may ask a perfectly thoughtful question, but then the inevitable beat or two of silence follows. We rethink things. We sloppily interject with an explanation of the question; then we ask another, more formulaic question; then we supply some possible answers; then we say "right?" and stare blankly at our interlocutor. It's OK. Silence is golden. Just give them time to think.
Whether talking about meetings, classes, or chats with customer service, so much of our lives depend on the quality of the questions we ask.
For best results, we can channel our inner hot one.
When Daniel Kaluuya wrapped up his episode, he said this:
"Great interview. You’re one of the best in the game. You proper care.”
To which Evans responded:
"Well, I do, ya know? If I’m gonna make you jump through this hoop, it’s only right that we jump through a few ourselves."
Amen.